if only i could text you this smell
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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