So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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