I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
