If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
