Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize