New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
