I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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