I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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