so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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