I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
