Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I understand Curling. That high.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
