i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
