I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
