So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
