Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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