thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
