That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
