biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
