His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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