Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
