She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
