what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
