Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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