Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You pole danced in your parka.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
