vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
