sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
