don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
