i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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