I cockslap morals
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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