so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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