last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
