recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
