apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
