Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
