I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
