You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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