Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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