lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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