Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
