Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize