Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
