Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
