He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
