So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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