Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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