WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
