I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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