I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
