the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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