we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
