So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize