HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize