the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
