____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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