would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
