Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
