she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize