I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
