If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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