Heybabeimwearingurpanties
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
