i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
