i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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