I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
