508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
