just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
