At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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