Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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