You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Rumble strips road head = magical
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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