Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
