K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I touched a dick in church today
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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