in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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